As I was saying in my last email, its been hard to film women for many reasons. But I am getting plenty of good shots
of women dancing at weddings and in the privacy of their home and in their extended family's courtyards during
festivals. Weddings in upper class Cairo are pretty open. Most young men and women dance with total freedom.
Usually its in the smaller villages that married women do not dance in public at weddings for outsiders to see, but the
little girls dance up a storm. Also, single, young women at the marriageable age are usually trying to make sure their
future husband thinks they are 'chaste' and not flirtatious, so they don't dance in mixed crowds either. And in some of
the more poverty stricken areas of Cairo, people become more religiously extreme out of desperation, and they tend
to "up" their status by being more devout Muslims, which they tend to translate as keeping their women under wraps.
But It's wrong to put the cause totally on ‘Islam’ or fundamentalists. It is more of a 'cultural' thing. Yes, religion has
something to do with it, but it is far more complicated than that, and when you examine a different culture you must be
open minded to another culture's tradition, habits, history, beliefs, and circumstances in order to understand why they
do some of the things they do. Over the years I've had a lot of conversations with Egyptians of various ages, both
male and female, about this topic. Also with people from different educational backgrounds. I've gotten a mixture of
responses depending on whether the person is highly educated or illiterate, whether they come from a village or a
city, and whether they are rich or poor.
When I was in Bahareya, which basically has the society of a very small, gossipy town, most said women dancing at
weddings caused "problems". I kept asking questions of everyone I met, trying to get to the bottom of what they
meant by "problems". The problem appears to be the sensuous aspect of dancing and the husband's jealousy (wives
were forbidden to dance because it made the husband jealous). Also, males appear to feel threatened by sensuality.
They feel a desire for sex and therefore blame the woman for being a sexual creature—exciting them, provoking
them. They blame the woman for their male urges. Another problem is that men here truly believe a woman cannot
control her sexual urges, so they worry constantly about the woman's honor. So fathers do not want their daughters
who are of marrying age to flaunt themselves and look like they are asking for sex. Ironically, since most women here
are circumcised, its the men that can’t control themselves or their urges. But nonetheless, seeing women dance
caused "problems", and occasionally fights, so they put an end to the 'problems' by not allowing the women to dance
at weddings.
Another issue, especially in Cairo, is that men have to wait to get married until they can afford to buy an apartment for
the wife. This is her security in case something ever happens to the husband and apartments are almost always put in
the wife's name. High unemployment and the growth of poverty, mixed with housing shortages has made men put off
marrying until their late 20's and into their 30's. So you have a lot of horney young men at these weddings. They have
a lot of pent up urges, as sex is not all that available in a Muslim country, and prostitutes, although available, are
shunned by most Egyptian Muslims. So having a bunch of young women dancing and exciting the young unmarried
men, does cause problems. To prevent problems, usually only little girls and men dance at weddings. But like I said,
middle and upper class Egyptians tend to not suffer from this dilemma (poverty, and therefore late marriages, and lack
of affordable housing), so there are lots of women (both married or single) dancing at these upper middle class and
upper class weddings without the stigma or 'problems'.
Another problem is that religion is taking over the society as a whole and is blatant everywhere. This makes it difficult
to be "different". If all the university students are wearing head scarves and one girl doesn't, everyone looks at her
like she is bad, so she goes along with it and wears the head scarf even though she doesn't want to. That's how it is
with dancing. A girl may want to dance up a storm at a wedding, but she knows the stigma attached to it and doesn't
want to ruin her reputation. It's easier to just have fun with the women and kick up her heels in private. And most are
truly satisfied with dancing with their girl friends. They are not trying to tease men, that is not their intention when
they dance, so dancing with the women satisfies them. There are also Coptic Christian women here that also tend to
avoid dancing for the same reasons, so it's not just an Islamic thing, its more of a cultural thing. It can't be blamed on
Islam. Egyptian women don't want to be looked at as a sexual object or thought of as "asking for it". It ruins their
reputation and makes them undesirable as a bride and future wife.
In other cases, some women I've talked to here truly feel that by disassociating themselves from beauty, sex, etc.
makes them more in touch with God and more acceptable to God. So to them, being ‘good’, and being a good Muslim
does mean dressing conservatively, covering their hair, and, not dancing in public.
Men I have talked to always mention the fact that more and more people in Egypt are falling prey to poverty. With
poverty they have a sense of frustration that they can’t make their life better and can’t provide their children with good
education and a future. They turn more to God and submit to his divine will. They have no hope in this life, so instead
of focusing on their troubles, they accept it and dwell more on God and religion. Included in this attitude is to shut off
the 'frills' of life (especially since they can't afford frills!). But they shut out everything, including music and dancing.
People say they are returning to older traditions and habits of the past that they feel was more pure.
Unmarried girls and women say that their goal is to be married. Once they are married they have no desire to be seen
by other men or attract attention. They want to please their husbands and they say they will have no use for attention
from other men. They are quite satisfied with being a wife and mother. Plus, they will dance in the privacy of their
home when they feel the urge to express joy, etc. They don't feel deprived because they dance at home whenever
they feel like it with friends and family.
Married women told me that they loved their husbands very much and had no desires to look womanly and desirable
to other men. They said things like: “I’m not out looking for a man", "I’ve got a man that I love deeply", "I don’t care
what I look like outside of my home", "At home I dress as I like and I look good for my husband", "I am very satisfied
with my life with my husband, why should I care about making other men lust after me?".
I talk to a lot of working girls, such as my bank manager, the ticketing manager who handles my flights, etc., and they
say that there is a lot of pressure from society in general that forces a woman to wear the head scarf and be
conservative. It is the same with dance. They comply with this pressure because it is worse for them to resist it.
Some girls say they wear the head scarf, not because they want to, they don’t want to, but it makes it easier for them
to have a free life. They can go out more with friends, get a job, walk in the streets without being harrassed, and no
one pays any attention to them at all, or makes them feel as if they are ‘bad’ girls. It is the same with dance, these
working girls and women said to me, "Why do it in public and cause problems when I have lots of fun dancing with my
friends and family?" They do not feel deprived of dancing because they dance all the time. And they don't feel that
they have to do it in front of men and strangers because at some point they will marry any way--why attract attention
from men you want nothing to do with?
Then, finally, there's the issue that so many professional belly dancers in the nightclubs all over Cairo are part time
prostitutes. Dance will always have a bad connotation if it is done in front of men other than friends and relatives.
Nightclub dancing has added a stigma to belly dance that no one can overcome. The belly dancer who performs for
men, is usually a prostitute. So most women do not want that stigma.
Hope this helps you to understand how complicated it is-- it's more of a cultural thing than an Islamic thing.
of women dancing at weddings and in the privacy of their home and in their extended family's courtyards during
festivals. Weddings in upper class Cairo are pretty open. Most young men and women dance with total freedom.
Usually its in the smaller villages that married women do not dance in public at weddings for outsiders to see, but the
little girls dance up a storm. Also, single, young women at the marriageable age are usually trying to make sure their
future husband thinks they are 'chaste' and not flirtatious, so they don't dance in mixed crowds either. And in some of
the more poverty stricken areas of Cairo, people become more religiously extreme out of desperation, and they tend
to "up" their status by being more devout Muslims, which they tend to translate as keeping their women under wraps.
But It's wrong to put the cause totally on ‘Islam’ or fundamentalists. It is more of a 'cultural' thing. Yes, religion has
something to do with it, but it is far more complicated than that, and when you examine a different culture you must be
open minded to another culture's tradition, habits, history, beliefs, and circumstances in order to understand why they
do some of the things they do. Over the years I've had a lot of conversations with Egyptians of various ages, both
male and female, about this topic. Also with people from different educational backgrounds. I've gotten a mixture of
responses depending on whether the person is highly educated or illiterate, whether they come from a village or a
city, and whether they are rich or poor.
When I was in Bahareya, which basically has the society of a very small, gossipy town, most said women dancing at
weddings caused "problems". I kept asking questions of everyone I met, trying to get to the bottom of what they
meant by "problems". The problem appears to be the sensuous aspect of dancing and the husband's jealousy (wives
were forbidden to dance because it made the husband jealous). Also, males appear to feel threatened by sensuality.
They feel a desire for sex and therefore blame the woman for being a sexual creature—exciting them, provoking
them. They blame the woman for their male urges. Another problem is that men here truly believe a woman cannot
control her sexual urges, so they worry constantly about the woman's honor. So fathers do not want their daughters
who are of marrying age to flaunt themselves and look like they are asking for sex. Ironically, since most women here
are circumcised, its the men that can’t control themselves or their urges. But nonetheless, seeing women dance
caused "problems", and occasionally fights, so they put an end to the 'problems' by not allowing the women to dance
at weddings.
Another issue, especially in Cairo, is that men have to wait to get married until they can afford to buy an apartment for
the wife. This is her security in case something ever happens to the husband and apartments are almost always put in
the wife's name. High unemployment and the growth of poverty, mixed with housing shortages has made men put off
marrying until their late 20's and into their 30's. So you have a lot of horney young men at these weddings. They have
a lot of pent up urges, as sex is not all that available in a Muslim country, and prostitutes, although available, are
shunned by most Egyptian Muslims. So having a bunch of young women dancing and exciting the young unmarried
men, does cause problems. To prevent problems, usually only little girls and men dance at weddings. But like I said,
middle and upper class Egyptians tend to not suffer from this dilemma (poverty, and therefore late marriages, and lack
of affordable housing), so there are lots of women (both married or single) dancing at these upper middle class and
upper class weddings without the stigma or 'problems'.
Another problem is that religion is taking over the society as a whole and is blatant everywhere. This makes it difficult
to be "different". If all the university students are wearing head scarves and one girl doesn't, everyone looks at her
like she is bad, so she goes along with it and wears the head scarf even though she doesn't want to. That's how it is
with dancing. A girl may want to dance up a storm at a wedding, but she knows the stigma attached to it and doesn't
want to ruin her reputation. It's easier to just have fun with the women and kick up her heels in private. And most are
truly satisfied with dancing with their girl friends. They are not trying to tease men, that is not their intention when
they dance, so dancing with the women satisfies them. There are also Coptic Christian women here that also tend to
avoid dancing for the same reasons, so it's not just an Islamic thing, its more of a cultural thing. It can't be blamed on
Islam. Egyptian women don't want to be looked at as a sexual object or thought of as "asking for it". It ruins their
reputation and makes them undesirable as a bride and future wife.
In other cases, some women I've talked to here truly feel that by disassociating themselves from beauty, sex, etc.
makes them more in touch with God and more acceptable to God. So to them, being ‘good’, and being a good Muslim
does mean dressing conservatively, covering their hair, and, not dancing in public.
Men I have talked to always mention the fact that more and more people in Egypt are falling prey to poverty. With
poverty they have a sense of frustration that they can’t make their life better and can’t provide their children with good
education and a future. They turn more to God and submit to his divine will. They have no hope in this life, so instead
of focusing on their troubles, they accept it and dwell more on God and religion. Included in this attitude is to shut off
the 'frills' of life (especially since they can't afford frills!). But they shut out everything, including music and dancing.
People say they are returning to older traditions and habits of the past that they feel was more pure.
Unmarried girls and women say that their goal is to be married. Once they are married they have no desire to be seen
by other men or attract attention. They want to please their husbands and they say they will have no use for attention
from other men. They are quite satisfied with being a wife and mother. Plus, they will dance in the privacy of their
home when they feel the urge to express joy, etc. They don't feel deprived because they dance at home whenever
they feel like it with friends and family.
Married women told me that they loved their husbands very much and had no desires to look womanly and desirable
to other men. They said things like: “I’m not out looking for a man", "I’ve got a man that I love deeply", "I don’t care
what I look like outside of my home", "At home I dress as I like and I look good for my husband", "I am very satisfied
with my life with my husband, why should I care about making other men lust after me?".
I talk to a lot of working girls, such as my bank manager, the ticketing manager who handles my flights, etc., and they
say that there is a lot of pressure from society in general that forces a woman to wear the head scarf and be
conservative. It is the same with dance. They comply with this pressure because it is worse for them to resist it.
Some girls say they wear the head scarf, not because they want to, they don’t want to, but it makes it easier for them
to have a free life. They can go out more with friends, get a job, walk in the streets without being harrassed, and no
one pays any attention to them at all, or makes them feel as if they are ‘bad’ girls. It is the same with dance, these
working girls and women said to me, "Why do it in public and cause problems when I have lots of fun dancing with my
friends and family?" They do not feel deprived of dancing because they dance all the time. And they don't feel that
they have to do it in front of men and strangers because at some point they will marry any way--why attract attention
from men you want nothing to do with?
Then, finally, there's the issue that so many professional belly dancers in the nightclubs all over Cairo are part time
prostitutes. Dance will always have a bad connotation if it is done in front of men other than friends and relatives.
Nightclub dancing has added a stigma to belly dance that no one can overcome. The belly dancer who performs for
men, is usually a prostitute. So most women do not want that stigma.
Hope this helps you to understand how complicated it is-- it's more of a cultural thing than an Islamic thing.
Subject: Why women aren't dancing
This was an email reply I sent to someone who
asked me about women dancing freely in Egypt
asked me about women dancing freely in Egypt