As I was saying in my last email, its been hard to film women for many reasons. But I am getting plenty of
good shots of women dancing at weddings and in the privacy of their home and in their extended family's
courtyards during festivals. Weddings in upper class Cairo are pretty open. Most young men and women
dance with total freedom. Usually its in the smaller villages that married women do not dance in public at
weddings for outsiders to see, but the little girls dance up a storm. Also, young women at the marriageable
age are usually trying to make sure their future husband thinks they are 'chaste' and not flirtatious, so they
don't dance in mixed crowds either. And in some of the more poverty stricken areas of Cairo, people become
more religiously extreme out of desperation, and they tend to "up" their status by being more devout Muslims,
which they tend to translate as keeping their women under wraps.
But It's wrong to put the cause totally on ‘Islam’ or fundamentalists. Yes, religion has something to do with it,
but it is far more complicated than that, and when you examine a different culture you must be open minded to
another culture's tradition, habits, history, beliefs, and circumstances in order to understand why they do some
of the things they do. Over the years I've had a lot of conversations with Egyptians of various ages, both male
and female, about this topic. Also with people from different educational backgrounds. I've gotten a mixture of
responses depending on whether the person is highly educated or illiterate, whether they come from a village
or a city, and whether they are rich or poor.
When I was in Bahareya, which basically has the society of a very small, gossipy town, most said women
dancing at weddings caused "problems". I kept asking questions of everyone I met, trying to get to the bottom
of what they meant by "problems". The problem appears to be the sensuous aspect of dancing and the
husband's jealousy (wives were forbidden to dance because it made the husband jealous). Also, males appear
to feel threatened by sensuality. They feel a desire for sex and therefore blame the woman for being a sexual
creature—exciting them, provoking them. They blame the woman for their male urges. Another problem is
that men here truly believe a woman cannot control her sexual urges, so they worry constantly about the
woman's honor. So fathers do not want their daughters who are of marrying age to flaunt themselves and look
like they are asking for sex. Ironically, since most women here are circumcised, its the men that can’t control
themselves or their urges. But nonetheless, seeing women dance caused "problems", and occasionally fights,
so they put an end to the 'problems' by not allowing the women to dance at weddings.
Another issue, especially in Cairo, is that men have to wait to get married until they can afford to buy an
apartment for the wife. This is her security in case something ever happens to the husband and apartments
are almost always put in the wife's name. High unemployment and the growth of poverty, mixed with housing
shortages has made men put off marrying until their late 20's and into their 30's. So you have a lot of horney
young men at these weddings. They have a lot of pent up urges, as sex is not all that available in a Muslim
country, and prostitutes, although available, are shunned by most Egyptian Muslims. So having a bunch of
young women dancing and exciting the young unmarried men, does cause problems. To prevent problems,
usually only little girls and men dance at weddings. But like I said, middle and upper class Egyptians tend to
not suffer from this dilemma (poverty, and therefore late marriages, and lack of affordable housing), so there
are lots of women (both married or single) dancing at these upper middle class and upper class weddings.
Another problem is that religion is taking over the society as a whole and is blatant everywhere. This makes it
difficult to be "different". If all the university students are wearing head scarves and one girl doesn't, everyone
looks at her like she is bad, so she goes along with it and wears the head scarf even though she doesn't want
to. That's how it is with dancing. A girl may want to dance up a storm at a wedding, but she knows the stigma
attached to it and doesn't want to ruin her reputation. It's easier to just have fun with the women and kick up
her heels in private. And most are truly satisfied with dancing with their girl friends. They are not trying to
tease men, that is not their intention when they dance, so dancing with the women satisfies them. There are
also Coptic Christian women here that also tend to avoid dancing for the same reasons, so it's not just an
Islamic thing, its more of a cultural thing. It can't be blamed on Islam. Egyptian women don't want to be looked
at as a sexual object or thought of as "asking for it". It ruins their reputation and makes them undesirable as a
bride and future wife.
In other cases, some women I've talked to here truly feel that by disassociating themselves from beauty, sex,
etc. makes them more in touch with God and more acceptable to God. So to them, being ‘good’, and being a
good Muslim does mean dressing conservatively, covering their hair, and, not dancing in public.
Men I have talked to always mention the fact that more and more people in Egypt are falling prey to poverty.
With poverty they have a sense of frustration that they can’t make their life better and can’t provide their
children with good education and a future. They turn more to God and submit to his divine will. They have no
hope in this life, so instead of focusing on their troubles, they accept it and dwell more on God and religion.
Included in this attitude is to shut off the 'frills' of life (especially since they can't afford frills!). But they shut
out everything, including music and dancing. People say they are returning to older traditions and habits of the
past that they feel was more pure.
Unmarried girls and women say that their goal is to be married. Once they are married they have no desire to
be seen by other men or attract attention. They want to please their husbands and they say they will have no
use for attention from other men. They are quite satisfied with being a wife and mother. Plus, they will dance
in the privacy of their home when they feel the urge to express joy, etc. They don't feel deprived because
they dance at home whenever they feel like it with friends and family.
Married women told me that they loved their husbands very much and had no desires to look womanly and
desirable to other men. They said things like: “I’m not out looking for a man", "I’ve got a man that I love
deeply", "I don’t care what I look like outside of my home", "At home I dress as I like and I look good for my
husband", "I am very satisfied with my life with my husband, why should I care about making other men lust
after me?".
I talk to a lot of working girls, such as my bank manager, the ticketing manager who handles my flights, etc.,
and they say that there is a lot of pressure from society in general that forces a woman to wear the head scarf
and be conservative. It is the same with dance. They comply with this pressure because it is worse for them
to resist it. Some girls say they wear the head scarf, not because they want to, they don’t want to, but it makes
it easier for them to have a free life. They can go out more with friends, get a job, walk in the streets without
being harrassed, and no one pays any attention to them at all, or makes them feel as if they are ‘bad’ girls. It is
the same with dance, these working girls and women said to me, "Why do it in public and cause problems
when I have lots of fun dancing with my friends and family?" They do not feel deprived of dancing because
they dance all the time. And they don't feel that they have to do it in front of men and strangers because at
some point they will marry any way--why attract attention from men you want nothing to do with?
Then, finally, there's the issue that so many professional belly dancers in the nightclubs all over Cairo are part
time prostitutes. Dance will always have a bad connotation if it is done in front of men other than friends and
relatives. Nightclub dancing has added a stigma to belly dance that no one can overcome. The belly dancer
who performs for men, is usually a prostitute. So most women do not want that stigma.
Hope this helps you to understand how complicated it is--buts it's more of a cultural thing than an Islamic thing.
love, mom
Subject: Why women aren't dancing